At the WellFest event for the civil service this week, I said something in a fireside chat that people said really resonated with them:

“All my life, I’ve gone in search of a safe person, safe friend, safe partner, safe place. Then, I realised that safety cannot be outsourced. I have to be my own safe person.”

Spoken as someone who has a history of panic attacks, postnatal OCD and anxiety. In the past years, I’d really had to challenge myself to go deep into the AuDHD experience to know what I’m made of, in order to become an emotionally safe person from the inside out… as a co-parent to my kids.

My Journey to Finding Emotional Safety from Within

How does one find emotional safety from the inside out? It was quite a wild ride:

• Recovery from ADHD medication side effects, which at its peak (3 years into taking stimulants), left me struggling to breathe… then experiencing a withdrawal so excruciating when I was trying to find the right dosage.
• Optimising the hormonal treatment that supports my ability to not only function, but thrive and restore my energy,
• Receiving the working diagnosis of ASD,
• Clarifying my values and aligning with those whose values align (a work in progress)
• Understanding the dysfunctional mindset that made me the martyr who gave until I collapsed, and then resented everyone.

Here’s the realisation I had amidst all these, the system wasn’t built to understand and support an AuDHD woman like me. No psychiatrist, coach, or therapist could help me. How do you find support when no one understands your shifting nervous system states?

So, I did what I’d always known as a scientist — I did my own research, creating the world’s largest AuDHD Women Survey where I listened to hundreds of AuDHD women across the UK and beyond. Their stories and data revealed:

• Patterns of masking that left AuDHD women feeling invisible.
• Hormonal sensitivities amplified their physical and mental struggles and the solutions they sought.
• Trauma layering that kept their nervous systems in chronic dysregulation, and how the pattern repeats in every relationship.
• Relationship non-negotiables for AuDHD women.

These stories became the foundation of my work—and the driving force behind why I created an advanced AuDHD training program, bringing science and lived realities together to address the gaps that the system has ignored for too long.

I began to understand the AuDHD nervous system like no other, inviting comments to my interview on the ADHD Chatter podcast, such as:

🧠 “I haven’t heard of anyone describing my struggles as detailed as this.”

💔 “Dr Hiew just looked into my soul and articulated how i feel, what i do and who i am.”

😤 “So frustrating to hear descriptions of myself by actual experts online, yet it’s so hard to find any locally for assessments, therapy, etc.”

The Missing Layer: Hormones & Emotional Safety

Here’s what I realised: most neurodiversity training stops at the surface. For example, the AuDHD monotropism is described as a reliable state that any of us can get into, but this is not the same for all AuDHDers, especially if their context is:

• They aren’t taking a strong dose of ADHD medication (which in itself is problematic to the AuDHDer’s long-term health)
• They are at an age where their hormones just don’t work the same as younger women

Many of us often shift between states, either feeling hyperstimulated or barely able to get motivated. If we discuss traits and behaviours as though they are static, we overlook the deeper layers—such as the female hormonal system and its profound impact on executive function, sensory processing, and emotional regulation.

For AuDHD women, this isn’t a small detail. It’s the difference between regulation and breakdown. It’s:

• The client who’s being assessed for ASD or ADHD, when AuDHD is an entirely distinct neurotype, influenced by gender, intersecting areas such as culture, race, class, etc.
• The client who starts ADHD medication and feels worse because her hormonal cycle or sensory sensitivities weren’t considered.
• The woman who’s given executive function coaching support when what she really needs is nervous system safety.
• The practitioner who feels stuck because their therapeutic tools don’t seem to work for neurodivergent clients, eroding trust and confidence in their own practice.

Ignoring these layers can create harm through misinformation.

No amount of treatment or tools works if we do not understand our client’s shifting biology and the broader impact of all the layers that influence how they present themselves. This complexity is what we are dealing with, yet many offer simplified solutions that often miss the point completely.

I’ve seen it firsthand: psychiatrists, doctors, therapists, and coaches unintentionally pushing an AuDHD woman’s nervous system beyond its limits with “solutions” or overstimulating or dulling it with the wrong medication. Not because they don’t care, but because the system hasn’t evolved to meet the complexity of the AuDHD female experience.

The Deeper Issue: The Wounded Helpers, Who Are Hurting

But here’s the deeper issue. This isn’t just about the women being coached, treated, or diagnosed. It’s also about you—the helper.

I see you: the therapist, coach, or practitioner who pours everything into others. The wounded healer who over-gives, over-functions, and over-identifies with being the saviour, the perfectionist, or the endlessly competent one.

Here’s the truth: you can’t regulate another person’s nervous system if yours is dysregulated.

That’s why this training doesn’t just teach you about AuDHD women—it helps you see your own patterns with compassion. Because when you’re regulated, you become a safe, grounded presence for everyone you work with.

The Advanced AuDHD Practitioner Training: A Movement for Ethical, Transformative Support

This realisation led me to create The AuDHD Advanced Practitioner Programme—the world’s ONLY intersectional, neuro-affirming, and science-backed training dedicated to understanding Autistic ADHD (AuDHD) women.

The programme is designed for:

• Therapists, coaches, and psychiatrists who want to practice safely and confidently with AuDHD clients.
• Leaders and educators who want to model regulation, inclusion, and integrity.
• Those ready to evolve their work beyond awareness into embodied transformation.

Inside, we teach you to:

• Understand how neuroscience, biology, attachment, and environment intertwine to shift our states and shape the behaviour you see on the surface — this helps you discern what your client is truly dealing with.
• Recognise dysregulation, e.g., shutdowns, fawning, sensory overwhelm, before harm is done.
• Support the female nervous system with trauma-informed, hormone-aware, biochemistry-informed approaches.
• Build safety, connection, and self-trust — from the inside out.

Here’s what our past cohort has said:

“Understanding how hormonal changes interact with neurotransmitters in AuDHD women was eye-opening. It will shape how I support clients, especially through significant life phases and transitions. The biological underpinnings were laid out with such depth and clarity—Sam has done the deep dive I needed to complement my understanding.”

— Susanne Böhner, Coach and Consultant

“I will go as far as to say this course should be mandatory training for anyone working with neurodivergent women. It helps professionals understand the nuances more around the paradoxes (like hyperempathy and high need for connection yet solitude, craving routine but rebelling against structure, etc.). It reminds them of the relevance of intersectionality on presentation and lived experience.”

— Dee Crick, ADHD Holistic Life and Business Coach

“Dr Samantha Hiew’s course has been an incredible experience—insightful, validating, and, most of all, a relief. As an Asian woman from a generation where neurodivergence is rarely spoken about or understood, I found in this course a language and framework that made sense of lifelong experiences I had internalised or misunderstood. This course doesn’t just inform—it empowers.”

— Hamidah Hashim-Branson, Âû, Workplace Inclusion Practitioner

This Isn’t Just a Training — It’s a Movement of Transformational Advanced AuDHD Practitioners

We’re not just training practitioners. We’re building a movement that redefines what ethical, identity-affirming, trauma-informed support for neurodivergent individuals looks like.

This is for the helpers who want to stand at the intersection of science and lived realities. Those who understand that true inclusion begins with nervous system literacy, lived experience, and self-awareness. And how to apply the nuances.

Learn More The AuDHD Advanced Practitioner Programme | CPD-Certified, Intersectional, and Grounded in Lived-Experience Research.

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