Within me lives a deep fear of being seen. For my pain, insecurities, and intensities. And for my light, joys, and successes.
Because when you open up to the world, you’re vulnerable. Some may love you, some may hate you, and some may take advantage of you. It was the last two that kept me from opening up publicly for years – except in community spaces.
I built a career empowering other neurodivergent women, becoming the neurodiversity advocacy machine for 100+ FTSE companies since founding ADHD Girls in 2021.
Here’s the truth: my work came from reframing the oppression and power imbalances I’d lived and witnessed into stories and data safe enough for corporate spaces.
So when asked to share my story in those rooms, I often feel a tugging discomfort. There’s always a version of me they prefer. So I give them the “glossy version”:
- The girl who moved across the world to study cancer research,
- Struggled with undiagnosed AuDHD and nearly quit her PhD,
- Pivoted through 16 industries, became a mother, wrestled with perimenopause and society’s expectations on women,
- Finally created the space she belonged in, found her dream work, and co-parents her children.
But beneath that sheen is the story I’ve actually lived – and am still living:
- A woman wrestling with the meaning of ADHD, autism, woman, mother, because she has always felt like an outsider.
- A late-diagnosed woman who navigated divorce, daring to love, and learning pleasure and abundance.
- The mother who, at 39, felt trapped in a destiny not her own, unsupported emotionally and hormonally,
- who started a digital campaign while breastfeeding her son around the clock,
- who built a social impact platform, was finally seen, then commoditised by others,
- who gave her power away to keep love close,
- who enabled it all – because she couldn’t yet see her worth.
Post-Traumatic Healing: “How Do I Get from Here to Where You Are?”
At the depth of heartbreak, I met another woman who had gone through divorce, built a shiny career, yet seemed able to make wise choices. She could be discerning. She could say NO even when it saddened her.
Through tears, I asked her: “How can I get from where I am now to where you are?”
I don’t remember her words, but I remember feeling stronger in her presence. She embodied the healthy feminine I had longed for.
With no roadmap, I leapt into anything that might help me “get there.” With no one in my immediate circle who could help me, I turned to science – detoxing, nourishing, balancing my hormones and neurochemistry. I saw my therapist every week, and it helped.
But science and talk therapy can only go so far in post-traumatic healing, because trauma is stored in the body. Grief has many faces.
One night, when I was alone, grief took the form of thoughts that didn’t feel like mine, thoughts that made me feel… “crazy.” Grief left me immobilised, yet I knew what I needed was connection. Not knowing where to find it, I created the space myself: AuDHD Women: Missed, Dismissed, Reclaiming Your Voice.
220 women came. I shared what I now see as the intellectualisation of AuDHD and the Heroine’s Journey (surprise, surprise: did you know that the women’s journey to growth and fulfilment is different to the “Hero’s Journey”?). Women loved it, one even said I’d “lit a balmy campfire of sisterhood.”
But when it ended, I spiralled for days. Life hadn’t changed. I was still alone. Still trapped in my head. Still carrying grief in my body that I didn’t know how to release.
Turning Toward the Feminine
So I turned to spirituality to heal the parts science couldn’t reach: massages, yoga, pilates, circles, retreats, cacao ceremonies, nature, singing, and chanting.
This time, I went to spaces hosted by the feminine. The energy was healing, powerful, confronting, and beautiful. Step by step, I became the version of the feminine I’d needed.
The healthy feminine holds many archetypes, some of which are:
- The Lover (presence, pleasure),
- The Mother (nurture, creation),
- The Goddess (intuition, wisdom),
- The Queen (leadership, power).
It honours both shadow and light – grief and rage as much as joy and beauty. Spiritually, it means aligning with life’s rhythms rather than resisting them. You are OK to feel all the emotions. There is nothing shameful in being an all-feeling human.
Can I Hold This Space for Neurodivergents?
“My deepest wounds are tied to identity, asserting myself, and my right to exist and take up space.”
It has taken a lot of self-trust to tell the world the story I once only whispered to myself.
Three months ago, I wasn’t sure I could hold this space. Now I know I can, for no other reason than that I’ve walked through raging fires to get here. I felt grief so complete it remade me. It showed me the depth I was capable of and the beauty and power of my emotions. I found the map back to the woman I was always meant to be, before the world told me who to be.
Burnout happens when we give against our own agency, knowing deep down it isn’t what we want. Resentment builds, inertia creeps in, and we disconnect. We resent others, yet we hide our true desires – to be ourselves on purpose and to be loved for this regardless.
I haven’t fully “arrived”, I’m not sure anyone ever does. I haven’t solved the mystery of being a neurodivergent human, but I feel quite close to being an empowered feminine – one who can practise discernment, create boundaries and feel the rising electricity within when they are being crossed, hold the space for myself and others, and tap into my innate wisdom. Which is why the first Neurodivergent Phoenix Convention must be a space for women like me – whose rhythms and nervous systems fluctuate wildly. Because so much begins and ends with us, in the creation of healthy feminine and masculine in the world.
Come to the Neurodivergent Phoenix. A space for women’s neuroscience, biological rhythms, and nervous systems. You’ll learn the science of your body and mind – And you’ll leave knowing this: what you feel in it now will one day be set free.
And if you’re abroad and want to learn from and with me, my AuDHD intersectional scientific practitioner programme next cohort launches on 4th November 2025.
#NeurodivergentPhoenix #AuDHDWomen #ADHDWomen #WomensEmpowerment
